I know as adults with major responsibilities its easy to overlook our children's raw emotions. Yes, we may be running late with the list of things we have to do today running through our head, but we tend to overlook how important our children's "Mental list of to-dos" really are.
Have you ever been focused on something so much and wanted to finish it so bad that nothing else mattered to you at the moment? To your child that is exactly what coloring that picture, playing with that toy, or reading that book meant to them.
Now I am NOT saying that you should miss your appointments, school drop off line, or anything else because your toddler wont stop playing and get dressed. What I am saying is in that moment we have an opportunity to show our children time management, understanding, compassion, and a way to solve both of your to do lists. Just because we know how the world works from our point of view doesn't mean that they do, and we often don't remember that.
Instead of repeating yourself take one minuet and sit with your child. Tell them that you understand how important their project is, but you both have to do something that cant wait. Promise you will set aside time later that day for them to finish their project if they promise to run and put their shoes on rite then.
Yes, I know that will not always work, but over time you will realize that when you explain to your child that what they want is not being overlooked or undervalued they will start realizing that also.
When you where a teen and felt like you knew it all..what was one of the main things that bothered you when you felt your raw emotions? Was it someone saying "Oh just wait until your older you will understand."" You have no clue what life is really like.""You don't know what depression, love, hurt, etc. really is yet." But never really taking time to explain to you what they meant by any of those empty statements?
Yes as adults we know that teens don't get the legalities and stresses of adulthood, but in no way does that mean that their emotions should be shut down. Explain to your children what life is really like, let them know its ok to hurt or feel like they are sad. Tell them about real things you have gone through so that they know their not alone, and so that they have some picture in their head of what life can throw at them.
We spend so much time sheltering our children and pushing aside their emotions and then once they get old enough we expect them to just jump out into the world with a calm mind, positive attitude, and an understanding of what they need to do..so why not live that way now? Why not make their emotions known so they can learn how to cope now?! Coping is something that takes place within us in the first few weeks of like, and is something that everyone struggles with until the day we leave this earth. Lets help our children cope now for a better future!
I attached a link I ran across the other day that I thought gave some really good starter tips for helping children cope!
https://themighty.com/2016/12/how-to-help-calm-a-child-with-anxiety/
